


To Touch the Space Between Us

by AcrossThePage (Juliet77)



Category: Heaven Official's Blessing, 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Almost Kiss, Angst, Fluff, Hualian, Longing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Puqi Shrine, Qi Rong antics, Romance, Straw mat, Takes place within chapter 102, Teasing, They love eachother but won't admit it yet, Tried to be Canon Compliant, Two grown ass men afraid to talk about their feelings, spoilers for book 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29362890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juliet77/pseuds/AcrossThePage
Summary: It was nighttime in Puqi Shrine. The darkness inside was tempered by the soft flicker of light from a candle. Against one wall of the shrine, Lang Ying and Guzi were asleep on a straw mat, their forms still and calm. Against the other wall, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian lay side by side on a shared straw mat, each head pillowed by an arm. They conversed in hushed voices amidst the darkness and candlelight.OR: Two men lying side by side on a straw mat in Puqi Shrine. Xie Lian panics.SPOILER WARNING: This fic contains spoilers for book 3 and takes place within chapter 102.
Relationships: Hualian - Relationship, Huā Chéng/Xiè Lián, San Lang/Gege
Comments: 8
Kudos: 113





	To Touch the Space Between Us

It was nighttime in Puqi Shrine. The darkness inside was tempered by the soft flicker of light from a candle. Against one wall of the shrine, Lang Ying and Guzi were asleep on a straw mat, their forms still and calm. Against the other wall, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian lay side by side on a shared straw mat, each head pillowed by an arm. They conversed in hushed voices amidst the darkness and candlelight.

Outside the shrine, Qi Rong was bound by Ruoye. Every so often, the quiet was pierced by his shrieks and moans. A full bowl of Xie Lian’s stew had been poured down his throat earlier that day and he had yet to recover. 

Xie Lian furrowed his brows and whispered worriedly to Hua Cheng, “I hope he doesn’t wake the children...or the village.” Hua Cheng turned his head slightly and whispered back, grinning mischievously, “Would Gege like me to silence him for you?”

“No, no...not yet at least. Let him go for now. He sounds like he’s suffering enough as it is.” Xie Lian thought for a moment, rubbing his forehead with his hand, then turned his head toward the person lying next to him. “Speaking of which, San Lang, you ate a full bowl of that stew as well. Are you still...feeling alright?” 

Hua Cheng turned his head fully toward Xie Lian. Even in the darkness, his eye was bright and his gaze fell squarely on Xie Lian's face, “Of course I’m alright. It’s a privilege to eat anything Gege cooks.” 

Since Xie Lian’s head was already turned toward San Lang, when San Lang turned his head as well, their gazes fell just inches from each other. Xie Lian couldn’t help but feel that the space between them had abruptly shrunken too small and in too short a time. He snapped his head straight back up with a jerk, staring absentmindedly at the dark ceiling of Puqi Shrine. He took a slow, deep breath to calm his racing heart. This wasn’t the first time that he and Hua Cheng had shared a straw mat, but given certain events of recent days, namely the launching of thousands of blessing lanterns from Qiandeng Temple, the insistent press of lips as Hua Cheng had passed air to Xie Lian, and the heady lingering when those lips had stayed long after air was needed, Xie Lian felt that, somehow, the space between them had become a little more uncertain. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what exactly had changed; he only knew that something had. 

All of a sudden, Xie Lian was distracted from his own thoughts by Qi Rong’s voice ripping through the night.

“UGH!!! Lang Qianqiu can have me! Cousin Crown Prince, turn me over to him now! I’d rather be sliced into a million pieces than be stuck here and killed slowly by whatever dog shit you cook next!”

Xie Lian cringed, but both he and Hua Cheng ignored Qi Rong’s cry. Xie Lian cast a quick glance toward the children to make sure Qi Rong’s racket hadn’t woken them up. Their bodies remained still and quiet. Refocusing his eyes back on the ceiling, Xie Lian chuckled lightly before softly saying, “San Lang is too polite. But seriously, don’t force yourself to eat something just to save me some face.” 

“Gege thinks too much. It wasn’t out of force.” 

Xie Lian wanted to turn his head toward San Lang once again. However, he was still cautious of the sudden charge in the air he had felt between them just moments before. He resisted the urge to look over and instead flipped to his side, his back facing away from San Lang. 

Xie Lian spoke into the muted darkness, “Well, in that case, I have to believe that San Lang can truly eat anything, perhaps even the strangest delicacies in Ghost City.”

All of a sudden, Hua Cheng seemed to have inched closer, shortening the distance Xie Lian had just put between them to no more than a breath away. A voice whispered right beside his ear, “Is that right? San Lang never really got the chance to try. Gege ran off so suddenly and left so much food behind.”

Xie Lian could kick himself for walking right into this trap. When he and Hua Cheng had shared a meal together in Ghost City just a few days before, hadn’t he abruptly ran away from a mountain of strange food offerings when his ability to “get it up” had been brought into question by those female ghosts? 

He lightly cleared his throat and urged in a fierce whisper, “San Lang! Please, please don’t bring that up again!” Xie Lian huffed a deep breath before continuing in exasperation, “I...I already said...” Xie Lian’s voice trailed off in anguish, unable to bring himself to finish the sentence. 

“Hm. Very well, Gege. San Lang will not...bring it up.” 

“...”

Xie Lian could hear the teasing laughter in the Ghost King’s words and could almost see the wicked grin that must be smugly spread across his handsome face at that very moment. He felt his own face and ears flush a bright red and was quite thankful to be facing away from Hua Cheng at that moment. He was immediately overcome with a strong urge to run and escape. Xie Lian huffed another breath before deciding that his best course of action, other than simply digging a hole and disappearing right there on the spot, was to ignore Hua Cheng’s teasing and instead try to change the subject.

“San Lang, regarding the matter of Lady Lang Chang and that fetus spirit, the identity of the father turned out to be inconclusive. Lady Lan Chang accused many heavenly officials.” Xie Lian decided to say nothing about Feng Xin’s accusations and Mu Qing’s strange behavior surrounding Lan Chang and the fetus spirit.

Xie Lian sensed that Hua Cheng’s closeness had retreated and that he had settled down onto his side of the mat once again. The space between them felt more relaxed, at least for the moment. Although Xie Lian was relieved, he also now felt that the space between them was too wide. He flipped onto his back once again, rested his head on his arm, and stared absentmindedly up at the ceiling.

Hua Cheng replied, “She accused many heavenly officials? Even Gege?”

Xie Lian replied only with an “En” while also silently willing Hua Cheng to stop his incessant teasing and say no more on the subject. Xie Lian blushed as he recalled dropping his blood onto Yanzhen and having that strange sword confirm his virginity in front of the whole heavenly court. Thank the heavens that Hua Cheng had not been there to witness it!

Just then, the air was suddenly pierced by Qi Rong’s shrill screaming. “UGH!!! I’d rather be deep fried for 100 years in a vat of boiling oil than suffer this fate!!! Cousin Crown Prince, what poisonous shit did you feed me?!?! Give me the antidote, I beg you!” 

Xie Lian paused for just a moment before continuing as though he had heard nothing, “But just how Lady Lang Chang ended up with that gold belt is still very curious. To be given such a special gift and yet be abandoned in such a way. It just doesn’t seem to make sense. Sigh, I suppose some loves are not meant to last for all seasons.” 

Hua Cheng was quiet for a long while before he slowly turned his head toward Xie Lian, his gaze bright and piercing amidst the shadows and faint candlelight, and replied in a low, deep voice, “If it does not endure through all seasons, then it can hardly be called love.”

Xie Lian was taken aback by Hua Cheng’s words. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and attempted to slow the beating of his own heart. He mentally smacked himself on the head, his eyes rolling up toward the ceiling, and tried to will himself to calm down. Just what was with him lately? 

Before he even had time to process Hua Cheng's words, many thoughts began to swirl through his mind, racing and unrestrained, as though propelled by a force beyond his control. He closed his eyes in an effort to shut out his thoughts, yet still he saw from behind the darkness of his lids the tranquil light of those 3,000 blessing lanterns rising slowly through the night. He recalled with embarrassment the fit he had thrown after he and Hua Cheng had embraced and exchanged air underwater and how he couldn’t struggle against it when he opened his eyes and saw that it came from Hua Cheng. And how he could do nothing but struggle when Hua Cheng opened his own eye and gazed upon him. Their lips had pressed close and so tight. He could not help but recall their soft and hushed voices within Qiandeng Temple as they pressed close together, immersed in composition. Their two hands had stacked one atop the other, one earnest and sincere, the other untamed and mischievous; both incomparably warm. 

He didn’t know how to respond to Hua Cheng’s words or to the racing thoughts within his head, so instead he turned onto his side, snuffed the light of the candle, and softly murmured, “Let’s rest now.”

He listened as Hua Cheng rolled onto his side as well. But there must have been some sort of miscalculation when they flipped onto their sides just then, because the space between them seemed quite close. They had shared this straw mat in Puqi Shrine more than once. Each time, they had slept on their respective edges so as to keep a comfortable distance between them. 

This time, however, Xie Lian could feel the entire length of Hua Cheng’s back pressed lightly, ever so lightly, against his own, the touch softer than the brush of butterfly wings. He swallowed as he felt a soft yet insistent press radiating from the top of his back and running all the way down his body. Though his back barely touched the other, he couldn’t shake off the force of Hua Cheng’s presence and closeness. An uncontrollable nervousness pooled deep in his stomach. Fed up with his inability to escape from his own thoughts, he turned to a tried and true method, and silently began reciting the Ethics Sutra in his head.

Meanwhile, Hua Cheng’s body seemed to have frozen in place, stiff yet gentle, cold yet warm. Always warm. 

He felt his mind pull away from his sutras and he couldn’t help but follow the impulse to chase his thoughts toward other things. Things like that kiss. And lanterns. Lanterns and the kiss. And a temple. And hands. Beautiful, elegant hands. Hands that shouldn’t be warm, but oh, they were. And also...lips. Lips and a kiss. Lips that when they kissed him were cold and soft but also warm and persistent. Xie Lian gulped and shook his head in an attempt to clear it. He admonished himself,  _ “Focus. Calm down. Get a hold of yourself. You think too much.”  _

However, his thoughts still strayed, leading him to think about that brilliant temple of a thousand lights. When Xie Lian had asked Hua Cheg when and why that glorious Qiandeng Temple had been constructed, he had answered that it had been built long ago, and for entertainment. Xie Lian thought to himself, “ _ But how could such a glorious temple, so completely different from any other building in Ghost City, have been built on a whim? How could something so completely out of place in Ghost City not have great significance and importance? Does it really mean next to nothing? _ ” 

Xie Lian’s thoughts were still racing and he couldn’t catch his breath. His heart thundered in his ears. With the whole of their backs pressing closely together, Xie Lian was afraid that Hua Cheng would notice his erratic breathing and the incessant drumming of his heart.

In a split second decision, Xie Lian decided that escape was his best and only option. He bolted upright and pushed his body to standing with sure and swift motions. His head and his heart were too afraid to look back at Hua Cheng, who still laid on the mat. Puqi Shrine was enveloped in darkness. Xie Lian took a deep breath and gingerly walked across the floor of the shrine, feeling for the door as he went. When he came to it, he unlatched it gently, slowly opening it up. He then stepped out into the cool, open night air, clearing and quieting his thoughts with a few deep in and out breaths. 

His feet were bare and he took a few careful steps out onto the grassy field. He squinted and looked up into the night sky. His eyes were greeted by a waning moon and countless twinkling stars. Xie Lian couldn’t help but be reminded once again of those three thousand lanterns, their light incomparably bright, their presence illuminating the night sky. 

Just then, Xie Lian heard the sound of someone approaching behind him. Who else could it be but Hua Cheng? Resisting the urge to look back, Xie Lian continued to gaze up at the moon and the stars as Hua Cheng quietly came to a stop beside him, their shoulders close but, Xie Lian noticed, not touching.

“Gege couldn’t sleep?”

Xie Lian held his hands behind his back and chanced a quick glance at the person standing next to him, “En. Just wanted some fresh air.” 

Hua Cheng chuckled and smiled softly, his dark eye resting on Xie Lian’s face before he tipped his head up toward the sky. 

“Gege, look. There’s the Polaris.” 

Xie Lian smiled fondly at those familiar words. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian had gazed upon and followed that very star on their way to Banyue Pass. It occurred to Xie Lian that, ever since their first meeting, Hua Cheng had become a presence in his life that was not unlike that star: a bright, brilliant light that was steadfastly guiding him toward a destination.

The two stood side-by-side in silence for some time, seemingly content to admire the night sky. With Hua Cheng once again so close, Xie Lian felt that nervous feeling slowly creeping back up in his gut. It seemed that Hua Cheng was having his sort of effect on him more often than not as of late. He kept his gaze fixed on the North Star, it’s light brilliant amidst the twinkling of countless other stars. Xie Lian thought for a moment, then took a deep breath before speaking.

“San Lang, I feel that I never properly thanked you for those lanterns. So...thank you. Sincerely.” Xie Lian’s face felt warm. He dared not look away from the stars. 

“It pleased Gege?” 

Xie Lian felt a moistening pressure in his eyes. He swallowed. With great effort, Xie Lian forced himself to pull his eyes down from the stars, turning them instead toward Hua Cheng. He took a deep breath before speaking, his voice scarcely more than a whisper. “San Lang, you have no idea. It...made me feel special.” Xie Lian pressed his lips together for a moment before taking a deep breath, desperately trying to calm the nerves he felt in this throat and chest, before continuing on. “I’ve spent the past several hundred years feeling kind of, well, invisible. Sometimes I feel like if I disappeared, no one would even notice or care. Those lanterns, their light, they...made me feel seen.” Xie Lian wanted to add,  _ “You make me feel seen,” _ but he feared that he had already said too much. Those words he kept to himself.

As he spoke, Xie Lian had to fight to keep his voice from breaking. He pressed his lips together once more and gulped, swallowing down his tears. He didn’t know where he had mustered the courage to say what he had said, but it was too late to turn back now; the words were already thrust between them. He willed himself to keep his gaze on Hua Cheng as he waited for his response.

Though he didn’t need to, Hua Cheng breathed deeply, his gaze penetrating Xie Lian’s defenses, his eye bright and sparkling in the moonlight. Hua Cheng stared in silence for a while, an indiscernible expression upon his face, until he whispered in a voice so soft it could barely be heard, “Gege.” 

Xie Lian swallowed. There was little more than a step of space between them. Then, before Xie Lian knew it, Hua Cheng had turned and shuffled that step closer, his body pitching almost imperceptibly toward Xie Lian’s. Hua Cheng’s head tipped by a fraction and moved closer. One arm gently wrapped itself around Xie Lian’s lower back, his hand resting lightly on his waist. 

As if drawn toward Hua Cheng’s body by an invisible force, Xie Lian turned his body and stood face to face with Hua Cheng, that gentle grip still around his waist. The other hand slowly tipped Xie Lian’s chin up. Xie Lian felt a tightness in his throat and chest. Everything was happening all at once and so fast and yet not fast enough. It barely left him time to think. Hua Cheng’s eye shimmered and gleamed as he came closer and closer. Xie Lian’s eyes were wide open and he was too afraid to breathe or speak or move. There was also an impulse to push the hand from his chin, an impulse to turn his head and run, yet among those two impulses there was a third, though not an impulse, but rather, a desire. A barely conscious desire to stay, surrender, and never leave. He didn’t know whether to follow his impulse or his desire, so in the end he surprised himself by choosing neither, deciding instead to just let whatever was to happen, happen. His heart hammered in his chest and he was certain that Hua Cheng could hear and feel it. Their lips,  _ his lips _ , were close, so close, just a breath away from touching and---

“XIE LIAN, YOU BLACK HEARTED SNOW LOTUS!!! My gut is going to burst after eating that shit! This body is ruined because of you!”

Xie Lian nearly jumped out of his skin and felt that his heart had nearly burst out of his chest! He leapt back, bringing both his hands up to cover his face, breathing harshly, desperate to snuff out the heat that now coursed through his body.

He opened his fingers just a slit and peeked through, though not yet daring to gaze in the direction where Hua Cheng stood. Xie Lian breathed in and out and slowly dragged his hands down his face, cupping his nose and covering his mouth completely. He snuck a glance over at Hua Cheng. The sight that greeted him was beyond terrifying. His brows were furrowed and his eye was narrowed to a mere slit. His face was hard and cold, his gaze threatening. A strong aura of killing intent radiated from his eyepatch and in between his brows. He seemed to be staring straight through Puqi Shrine and toward the direction where Qi Rong was bound. 

Xie Lian took a few steps back, brought his hands from off his face, and nervously cleared his throat. He sighed in exasperation before choking out, “S-s-san Lang...um.” His hand flew desperately up to his forehead, rubbing and then covering the warm and reddened skin. “He really is too loud. I-I don’t know what to do with him. ”

Xie Lian chuckled a nervous laugh before he looked helplessly away.

Hua Cheng pulled his gaze back to rest on Xie Lian’s face. He stood in silence for some time. Xie Lian slowly turned his head toward Hua Cheng. When their eyes met, Hua Cheng’s features softened and warmed in an instant. He spoke in a hushed, yet strained, voice, "It's late. Gege needs rest. Why don't you go back to bed?"

He then turned his head back toward the direction where Qi Rong laid, his gaze once more cold like ice, his tone laced with murderous intent, “I’ll go take care of that useless trash.”

Xie Lian held down nervous laughter and nodded, turned, and walked in a daze toward the door of Puqi Shrine. He stepped inside and laid back down on the straw mat, feeling as if he were in a trance. This time when he laid down, his body perched on the very edge of the straw mat. For some reason, he felt a pang of loneliness and regret.

Just then, Qi Rong’s voice suddenly pierced through the night, “HUA CHENG, YOU F...”---

A deafening smack and thud reverberated through the air and was followed by utter silence. Xie Lian’s eyes bulged wide. Moments later, he heard the door to Puqi Shrine open and close. Hua Cheng padded across the floor and laid down on his side of the straw mat, the space between them now wide enough to prevent their bodies from touching. 

Xie Lian closed his eyes and took one last deep breath in and out. He felt that much had happened that night, but, at least for now, he wasn’t ready to examine it too closely. He concentrated on his breathing and willed his mind to be still and silent. Some time passed and finally, finally his thoughts calmed and his body moved toward the sweet and weary relief of sleep. Before he slipped into unconsciousness, he whispered gently, very gently, into the darkness, “San Lang.” 

He paused after speaking that name. It felt like a wish and a prayer. He was unsure of what to say next; he was afraid of what to say next. In the end, all he could say for sure was, “Goodnight.”

And in the darkness, a reply came back to him. Soft, tender, comforting, and, above all,  _ there _ , “Gege. Goodnight.”

Silence blanketed Puqi Shrine. Xie Lian felt enveloped by the warmth of those words as he sank slowly into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at fanfic! I love HuaLian's love so very much! To me, they are perfect and are such an inspiration. Thank you, thank you, thank you to user iamladyloki for being my TGCF sounding board! You introduced me to the world of MXTX and encouraged me when I first started writing this. Thank you for listening to my MANY HuaLian and TGCF ramblings! 
> 
> I wrote this fic because I wanted more intimacy on the straw mat in Puqi Shrine. I could read whole chapters of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng simply talking and falling asleep side by side. I was also inspired to write this after thinking about my cats and how they slink up next to me in search of warmth. Cats are mainly motivated by their desire for warmth and comfort. Warmth, comfort, plus a more intimate desire motivate HuaLian!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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